Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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