She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
