woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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