I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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