I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Bring me that man meat
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
