I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
