sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
