Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have aggressive nipples.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
