You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I touched a dick in church today
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize