i think i have two assholes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it's like heaven, but drunker
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
