I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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