Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
smell my finger.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
