What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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