Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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