I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
