Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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