no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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