I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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