Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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