Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
