It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize