was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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