I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
