drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
