I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
