How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
