It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
