A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
