i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
