Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
