Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i will never coherently bang her
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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