please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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