i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
