I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
