talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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