on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
