Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize