This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
