There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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