awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
