i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
