Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
