soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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