i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
