this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
