Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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