he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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