Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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