This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
