Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
two words...techno handjob
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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