My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
