stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
