last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
