I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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