Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
